Ask Porn Surfing Alfred

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Do you need like some salt or something? Or does that only work on slugs?

Anonymous

http://askpornsurfingalfred.tumblr.com/post/58458025975

Bad memories dude…  bad memories…..

did you need.. help? Like this? *doesn't get too close but hands fork over* you can probably stab it or something.

Ahh!….  nnnNNnn….  

I said what not who oh my god it was an innocent question I didn't expect that

Anonymous

God Damn IT!  Now’s not the time to spout nonsense, get me some damned help!

He~elp!

What have you been doing lately?

Anonymous

Lately Ivan has been sneaking into my house at night.  It’s a lot of fun, but kind of a downer when I wake up and he’s already gone.

Sep 2

uke-uk:

Poor kiddo, we need to help you build up a bit of tolerance to the drink.

I guess.. I need practice.

Here, it’s on me buddy.

Sep 1

*Hugs from behind and stares at others* What you doing...? *jelly seme is jelly*

uke-uk:

wanna join Richard? 

When you can just lube up and dive in instead?

U got the booty!?

Anonymous

uke-uk:

askpornsurfingalfred:

uke-uk:

askpornsurfingalfred:

uke-uk:

do I? I’m pretty sure I have an arse.

 

image

With not only a pint, but whipped cream and a cherry to put on top of anything you desire.

image

MMM… Yea okay.

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U got the booty!?

Anonymous

uke-uk:

askpornsurfingalfred:

uke-uk:

uke-uk:

do I? I’m pretty sure I have an arse.

image

image

With not only a pint, but whipped cream and a cherry to put on top of anything you desire.

image

MMM… Yea okay.

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Hey there I don't know if it has been asked before but is it possible if we can get a picture of you erm you know pleasuring yourself

Anonymous